How to 1 on 1 Meeting

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Leader

1 on 1 meeting

There are two kinds of managers

The manager who just leaves you alone entirely, and you, as an engineer, just kind of know what to work on. They never give you feedback, only to suddenly inform you that you’re not meeting expectations or are not qualified for promotion.
On the other hand, there are managers who genuinely want to help you succeed in your career. They teach you important skills, provide valuable feedback, help you navigate difficult situations, and figure out what you need to learn. Most importantly, they help you understand what is important to focus on and enable you to maintain that focus.

Employees

Preparation

Ensure you have questions to go through
Write down things you want to bring up
Book out 15 minutes after to digest things
Try and stay calm, these things are to benefit you both
Ensure you’ve eaten and are hydrated before going in

In The Meeting

Take your time, this meeting is for you
Discuss your wins and areas you are happy with
Provide clear communication on where you need help
Take constructive feedback with grace and professionalism
Ask about future career opportunities for progression

In The Meeting (more details)

Be vocal with your manager, as your manager may be able to help you navigate through various difficult situations, whether they are technical or personal.
you can start to ask what you need, such as expecting feedback after every project.
Avoid conducting 1–on-1 meetings for status updates
Creating an agenda before a 1-on-1 meeting is essential.
Receiving behavioral feedback during a 1-on-1 meeting instead of waiting until the performance review cycle can help you identify bad habits sooner, allowing you to correct them more quickly
Keep note / track of your good or bad feedback and use it when you write your self-review for the year.
Asking for advice (not solutions) shows that you respect and trust your manager or peers.
Being vocal is the fastest way to get an answer, instead of waiting for the manager to ask how you are experiencing work.
If a manager gives you critical feedback in a 1-on-1 meeting, it does not necessarily mean that your behavior was terrible.
If you want to get promoted, ask your manager where you can focus or what areas of improvement.
Use your manager to discover where you are, and figure out yourself where you would like to go next.
Take every feedback kindly, even if you don’t agree with it.
Take responsibility for finding out what you need to know from your manager.

Some example questions that you can add to your 1:1 agenda

Do you see me improving? If not, what should be my areas of improvement?
What should I focus on to get promoted?
Was I able to achieve the feedback that you gave me the last time?
What should I stop doing? And Why?
Are there responsibilities I can take over to grow in my career?
What things am I doing well that I should continue doing?
Are there any gaps in my current project delivery workflow steps?
how are we doing as a team?
how am i doing?
have you received any feedback from others about me or my work?
is there anyone i should be collaborating with or providing support to?
are there any changes happening that you can share with me?
where do you think i show the most potential for growth?
is there anything i can be doing differently of improving?
are there any opportunities for training or education to help me expand?
how can i become a better leader?
are you open to hearing feedback from me?

Post Meeting

Take time to review all notes
If there is anything not mentioned in the notes, raise it
Provide your honest feedback on how you thought it went
Implement and action any feedback fast
Consistently update your manager on progression

Questions for 1 on 1

feedback on performance can you provide feedback on my recent performance and areas where i can improve?
goals and expectation are my current goals still alighted with the team’s objectives, and are there any new priorities i should be aware of?
career development what skills or experiences should i be focusing on to stay competitive and keep up with the organizations involvement?
support and resources are there any resources or support you think i could benefit from to perform better?
Team dynamics how do you think the team is functioning overall, and is there anything i can do to contribute more effectively?
project feedback do you have any thoughts or feedback no the status of my current projects? is there something i could be doing better?
Company direction are there any upcoming, changes or strategic shifts in the company that i should be aware of?
Personal development area there any training programs or professional development opportunities you would recommend for me?
challenges and solutions what challenges do you see on the horizon for our team, and how can i help address them?
work life balance how do you feel about my current workload and work-life balance and do you have any suggestions for improvement?

Employers

Preparation

Ensure the agenda is crystal clear
Give your team at least one weeks notice of when it’ll be
Send any questions that you’d like to go over
Never cancel, instead reschedule Straight away
Treat these as a priority. Your people are important

In The Meeting

Spend the first 5 minutes with easy warm up questions
Spend a lot of your time listening not talking
Don’t forget to celebrate their wins. Praise goes a long way
Provide a clear action plan with objectives to work on

Some example questions

what are you doing and are there any blockers?
did you need help for me?
are there any question for the company?

Post Meeting

Ensure all notes are emailed across
Provide very clear feedback Explain how you are going to support
Ensure all objectives are understood
Book in the next call

One-on-one meetings (1–on-1) as a manager

Don’t set strict professional boundaries and attempt to know their direct reports beyond work. Treating them as humans and not resources builds the connection that’s necessary to utilize their full potential.
- Inquire a little bit about their family, background and childhood.
- Find out what catches their attention at work.
- Ask about their hobbies and interests. Maybe you will discover a common link.
- What do they value the most?
- What puts them off — something they can’t tolerate?
- What’s their biggest strength?
- What are they most fearful about?
- In what ways they’d like to be supported?
Asking these questions without getting too personal can give you just the information needed to communicate effectively and work better together.
Don’t talk about deadlines and stakeholder expectations. This can lead to a default tendency to ask for project updates whenever they meet their team.

One-on-one meetings should be largely focused around understanding your team’s concerns, discussing opportunities, brainstorming solutions and identifying areas of growth. One-on-one meetings should be focused around growth — what kind of opportunities your team needs, skills to be built, how to overcome challenges etc.

Here are some growth-oriented questions for an effective one-on-one meeting: - What challenges did they face recently, and how did they overcome them? - What was most exciting about work? - What bothered them the most and why? - What kind of opportunities do they need to build new skills? - What are their strengths? How can they put their strengths to better use? - What conflict did they face recently, and how did they handle it?

They will be challenged to think, deal with their problems, work out solutions and draw valuable learning lessons thereby making them more resilient in the face of adversity and challenges.
Doing all the talking prevents you from listening to their expectations and concerns. You not only miss understanding how your message is received, but also leave them feeling unheard and misunderstood.

Make them feel heard and understood first. They are more likely to listen to you when you listen to them first with the intent to understand and show respect for their views.

Practice effective listening using these practices:
1. Seek clarity and invite them to talk by asking open ended questions.
  - “Tell me more…”
  - “Help me understand …”
  - “Describe it to me …”
  - “What do you think about …”
  - “I would like to understand where you are coming from …”
  - “Can you share a little more about how you see things …?”
2. Go beyond the words to the non-verbal communication — tone of voice, hand gestures and body language.
3. Acknowledge their feelings and point of view. Acknowledging does not mean that you agree with them. It simply means that you understand how they feel.
The key to a good one-on-one meeting is the understanding that it is the employee’s meeting rather than the manager’s meeting. This is the free-form meeting for all the pressing issues, brilliant ideas, and chronic frustrations that do not fit neatly into status reports, email, and other less personal and intimate mechanisms.

Keep the discussion flexible and open — ask what they want to discuss instead of leading with your own agenda.

Treating one-on-one meetings as a dialogue and not a monologue empowers your team members to take control of their own growth and learning. They feel a sense of control over the discussion which encourages them to participate with enthusiasm and a positive attitude.
Being distracted, multitasking or pretending to listen in a one-on-one meeting is not only disrespectful and rude, it instantly shuts down the conversation. To get your people to open up, you need to build trust — create space where they feel safe to share their ideas and concerns.
One-on-one meetings are a great source to bridge the gap between your expectations and your team’s performance. It helps both the parties reach a common ground by aligning on goals, setting direction, clarifying assumptions and providing support necessary.

Your team can’t excel without clarity on how they’re doing and what they can do to be better. Continuously striving for improvement is the key to unlock their hidden potential.

Managers who don’t have a plan to talk to everyone on their team regularly are deluded. They believe they are going to learn what is going on in their group through some magical organizational osmosis and they won’t. Ideas will not be discovered, talent will be ignored, and the team will slowly begin to believe what they think does not matter, and the team is the company.